Evaluation

Three little kids huddled around Lego.com


So I stumbled upon this packet of evaluations concerning my husband. As I looked through the information, I realized that he had recieved all excellent marks...even from one of the toughest attendings. I went downstairs to where he was and told him exactly how I felt. No wonder I am having a hard time being a stay at home mom lately...I have never once gotten an evaluation where everybody tells me how wonderful I am. Not ONCE! I told him I was proud of him, of course, yadda, yadda, yadda, but what about me? Does anyone care about me?

(can you tell what kind of mood I was in?)

So james told me that he would evaluate me.

I thought for a minute.

Then smiled.

"Uh...that's not such a good idea," I said.

Than I started a sample eval.

"Let's see...,"

"Housecleaning: Needs Improvement"

"Laundry: Needs Improvement"

"Cooking: Satisfactory (I am pretty good at cooking holding a screaming baby in one arm"

"Creativity: Needs Improvement"

"Kids Homework: Needs Improvement"

"Car Cleanliness: Definitely Needs Improvement"

"Putting your baby to sleep without a bottle: Fail"

James cut me off....

he wrapped his arms around me and told me to stop.

Apparently he thinks I'm doing great.

Apparently he wouldn't want anyone else raising his children.

Apparently I married a REALLY, REALLY good guy.

I guess I did one thing right.

Pee

O.K. Seriously. Seriously. How many times can I say, Seriously? Is it REALLY that funny to bump your brother whiles he's peeing so his pee flies all over the room? Seriously. And the best part? It's ALWAYS funny. Everytime it happens. Time AFTER time AFTER time.

There is urine CONSTANTLY all over my bathroom.

I guess that's why I don't clean it very often.

Because tomorrow, someone is going to get "bumped" and it is going to be really, really funny. And guess what?

I'm not cleaning it up.

(although I probably will)

Why does Heavenly Father want people to die?

A day in the life of a Ford

James wasn't home...of course. I was saying goodnight to the boys when William suddenly and unexpectedly burst into tears. "Mom, I read a book at school today where all these people die from a volcano." "Why would someone write a childrens book about people dying? Don't they know that scares children?" "I'm scared, mom."

"Why did Heavenly Father let those people die?"

WOW. This was too much for a few seconds. My legs were about to give out from under me and I had to lay down. I told the boys to scurry into my bed so we could talk.

William was wiping his eyes. Jake lay between me and William and kept drifting in and out of consciousness. William and I had our heads propped up looking at each other talking quite frankly about life and death.

I told William all about how Heavenly Father lets bad things happen because he wants to test us. He needs to know that we are going to love Him and trust Him even when life is hard.

We talked about how Heavenly Father probably wanted those people who died back up in Heaven to live with Him.

We talked and talked and talked. It was surreal. I almost felt as if I was talking to a friend and not my 6 year old child. Kindof like Heaven. And when I felt that, I told him. I told him that after we die, we might be the same age. Like friends. He liked that. So did I.

After a very long talk about life and death, William asked his final question.

"Mom, are you scared that a volcano might come and kill us."

"No, not really. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I trust Heavenly Father."

Jake was now completely out between the two of us. William's brown circle eyes locked in place. He stared at me with complete confidence.

"I trust Him too, mom."

We smiled.

And then almost simultaneously, we both lay our heads on our pillows and drifted off to sleep...peacefully, in one big huddled mass on mom's bed.

Nobody Ever Told Me

Don't let these boys fool you. After I sternly told them to get in bed and not to talk, I find them both tucked in the Story chair, covers off their bed (a no-no) pretending to be asleep.

They were really staying up late reading Jake Drake, Bully Buster.


When you first get pregnant, for the first time; you hear it all. You learn from all of the experieinced mothers how hard and painful labor is, you hear that you won't get sleep for at least 6 months, you are told all about binky brands, diaper choices and changing pads. You hear how painful breastfeeding can be, how horrible cholic is and stories of how different formulas affect different babies. You think you've heard it all.

You are discharged from the hospital expecting all of those things. Ready for the world. You've listened to everybody's stories, theories and have maybe even read the books. But I find something very disturbing. I feel like I was never told the truth.

Nobody Ever told me this:

Nobody ever told me that even when your baby sleeps through the night, you're still tired. In fact, I've been tired ever since I had my first baby nearly seven years ago.

Nobody ever told me that I would never, I mean NEVER go to the bathroom by myself agian.

Nobody ever told me that a successful day would be to get three semi-healthy meals down the throats of ridiculously willful eaters.

Nobody ever told me that I would never make dinner with two hands again.

Nobody ever told me how much Disney movies really cost.

Nobody ever told me! DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE NOBODY EVER TOLD ME?

Nobody ever told me that I would find a kind of love that I never knew existed.

Nobody ever told me that 8 hours of screaming, fighting, not listening, crying and crankiness could all be wiped away with a one second smile.

Nobody ever told me that my patience would be greater than I had ever even thought possible.

Nobody ever told me that green, buggary kisses would make me smile.

Nobody ever told me that a naughty boy could hold my heart 2 feet away and play with it in front of my eyes.

Nobody ever told me that a successful day would be to lay down in bed at night and realize that you are hopelessly addicted to these troublesome, chaotic, miss-behaving children.

Nobody ever told me...perhaps because nobody ever could.

How do you tell someone how time stands still in those brief moments between mother and child. Looking into each others eyes. Knowing, with all knowing, that you are finally HOME.

Shhh...don't tell daddy

I guess James was jealous that I built a snow fort with the boys without him...so, so-man-like, he of course, takes the kids outside and builds a cooler, bigger and better one than mom.
The result: SUCCESS.


James showing off his new fort with William. Those are James feet out one end and William's head out the other.



shhh...don't tell daddy.

James on call. Translation: he sleeps at the hospital.
Result: Sleepover in mommy's bed.
but, shhh...it's a secret
Scout has only been invited once. She didn't pass the test. All she wanted to do was jump on our heads and pull our hair.
Result: She can take the sleepover test in a while when she matures a little. Her brothers will let her know when they decide she's grown- up enough.
When it's time for bed, the boys and I huddle under my covers and snuggle as close as possible.
We fall asleep together.
When daddy comes home the next day, we might say things like,
"don't worry daddy, we didn't sleep in your bed."
"don't worry daddy, we did nothing fun without you."
He falls for it EVERYTIME.
Oftentimes, the boys will whisper in my ear when dad is in the room,
"when is daddy sleeping at the hospital?"
This is code for "when do we get to sleep in your bed again?"
It's just our thing.
We all love it.
I wake up several times a night with feet, ribs, and arms blocking my breathing canal.
It's worth it.
Soon enough, no one but daddy will want to sleep in bed with me.
I'll take the arms and legs in my face.
A small price to pay for the BEST UN-kept secret in the house.

Happenings

Daddy called and said he was going to be late. I dressed the kids and we all went outside to shovel the snow. William and I were the only ones who lasted the whole time.

making Valentines for the grandparents. Hooray!

Just a few thoughts I have going on in my head right now...

last night while shoveling, William kept bugging me to come and help him make a snow fort. i kept telling him to be patient until i finished shoveling. he kept asking. i kept telling him "just a minute."

finally he says in an exasperated tone:

what? don't you have ANY time for me?"

ARE YOU SERIOUS, KID? I LIVE FOR YOU. MY WHOLE LIFE REVOLVES AROUND YOU."

and men wonder why we feel under-appreciated.

my grandpa is slowly passing away. i ache for him. i wish i lived closer...so badly. what would it be like to know you are dying? i hope, i really hope i don't know for a very, very, very long time. i love you, grandpa.

my parents sent us a valentine package. inside among other things, were three packs of gum. within minutes, i was picking, pulling and plunging this awful candy from my floors and carpets. i called my mom immediately and asked why in the world she would send gum to the home of an 18 month old. she laughed. oh, i am so glad they liked it. i just put another package in the mail. it has more gum.

i can't wait to be a grandma.

sometimes i wonder if my greatest sin is ingratitude. i think it is. i think i need to work on that.

sometimes i wonder what in the heck i am doing out here in akron, oh. it is freezing. i can't find anything to do with my children for FREE, and my husband is never home. i feel isolated in this little town with nothing but my kids.

and yet, oddly, i find myself feeling as if this is exactly where we need to be. oddly, my kids are everything i want. oddly, i'm grateful to be here in little akron, oh where it is cold, borderline depressing and sometimes incredibly lonely. there is a reason.

and they are all sleeping right upstairs.

Priesthood Buddies

I'm not quite sure what it is. But jake has a thing for going with daddy to fulfill dad's Priesthood responsibilities.

Jake has always LOVED to be James' partner when he goes home teaching. James takes him often and Jake likes just being alone with his daddy. With that said, last Sunday Jake surprised us both.

It was a two hour Preisthood meeting 40 minutes away in the evening. After three hours of church. James explained where he was going to the boys. William continued to play legos on the floor. Jake ran upstairs.

I was wondering what he was doing. I walked up to his room.

Jake was sitting on the floor pulling on his brown, khaki pants. He then proceeded to button up his white and red striped dress shirt.

"I'm going with dad," he told me.

"Jakey, it's going to be really long. You're going to get bored. Just stay home with me."

His mind was made up. He rushed downstairs to strap on his brown church shoes.

I hurriedly packed him a "lunch bunch" in his Spiderman lunch box and sent him out the door.

He smiled from ear to ear.

Just he and his dad.