Monday, November 10, 2008
Last night it hit me. The Prophet has reapeatedly told us to make our home a safe shelter from the storms of life. Last night I realized that not only can I provide a safe shelter for my children, but they in fact, can provide a shelter for me.
The lights were out and I began singing our Jesus songs. Jake abruptly jumped from his bed, descended the stairs and said, "I have to go find Linus." Leaving Will and I behind, I quickly jumped on the oppurtunity to crawl into bed with my Bugaboo. His look of satisfaction was overwhelming and I lay there in his bed holding him. He quickly drifted off to sleep as I noticed his breathing getting deeper. Jake re-entered the room with his trusted blankey and hopped into his bed. I quietly got up and moved over to his bedside. I whispered in his ear, "can I lay down with you?" His smile answered my request. I again cuddled up with one of my precious children and pulled the covers over our bodies. Jake, like his brother, drifted off into sleep. That's when I reaized it.
SAFE. Those were the words that came directly to my mind. I am lying here in the arms of a three year old, and I feel...completely...safe. How could this be? Jake could never protect me from an intruder, he drives me crazy most of the day, and yet, for a few minutes, my home for me, is a safe haven from the world.
I have never even thought that for one moment, I could be a safe haven for my parents. Perhaps I am not. However, in my home, my children, whether it seems likely or not, provide me wilth a feeling of safety that nothing else can.
It makes complete sense.
I will never forget the great anxiety that accompanied my every thought for months following the birth of my second child. The days were horrible, long and scary. My heart rate was way above normal range and I couldn't seem to make it slow down. Except for William's bedtime.
Each and every night, I waited impatiently for William to go to sleep. As he would crawl into his bed each night, I was close behind. Each night, I climbed under his covers with him, held him in my arms, and felt his little heart beating. As I felt his heart beat slow, and his breaths deepen, my heart followed his. My heart would slow down and for the first time that day, I felt calm. It was heaven. It was SAFE.
I never thought of saftey being found in 8-40 pound packages. I would usually think of hammers, my big, strong husband, or weapons. But in our home, my greatest security is found in the arms of three little people.
Posted by James and Jessica Ford at 1:47 PM