A No Good Very Bad Doctor Visit

It was not a very successful doctor visit today.

I was concerned about a recurrent lump on my back.

I left the boys with my friend.

My baby came with me.

Upon seeing the doctor...my baby started screaming...and never stopped.

The doctor and I had to talk very loudly to hear each other.

Then my cell phone rang amidst the already awkward situation.

I fumbled through my purse trying to turn it off with a screaming baby in my other arm.

I was then told to set my screaming baby down and take off my shirt.

I was uptight.

I needed a Coke.

The doctor did too...I could tell.

I set my 18 month old SCREAMER down and she started screaming louder.

It was barely tolerable. Nobody was even TOUCHING her. LOOKING at her. NOTHING.

I began to lift my arms up over my head to take off my shirt.

Apparently the doctor was right behind me.

My elbow caught her lip.

I turned around stunned.

She had her head down in pain.

It was bleeding.

"I need to excuse myself," she politely stated.

I kept apologizing.

My baby still screaming.

I don't know if it was the SCREAMING baby, the split lip, or the very rude cell phone ringing.

But she was done.

So was I.

Thank you to doctors for dealing with patients like me.

I am so, so, so SORRY.

Sledding on Grass in December

Who says you can't sled on frozen grass?

Child's Fantasy

RALPHY...

Icicles on a stick. Delicious.

Oh yeah. He didn't need a coat. Of course he didn't. He's the Mooch.

William made a baby snowman...just like our baby Noms.

We don't look much alike, do we? She's still my Scout.

I think we have made 4 gingerbread house so far...

Storytime with dad.

Snow. A fantasy of childhood. Our first snowfall doesn't compare to our friends in Des Moines, but we will take it. No shoveling. No digging our cars out. Perfect.

Funny Occasions:

After the primary program in our church, the Primary presidency brought sugar cookies for the kids. Upon William having his handed to him, he responded,
"No thanks. I don't want the empty calories."

Jake having a breakdown at bedtime. Normal. One night James and I couldn't stop laughing at our poor, deprived 4 year old.
"Jake, go potty right now."
"I can't walk."
"Yes you can, go right now."
"my legs hurt."
"than crawl."
He got on his hands and knees and looked back to us with a poor, sad glare of a child.
Of course he couldn't use his legs AT ALL (he didn't want us to know he was lying) so he pulled himself with him arms into the bathroom. Squiggling like a worm, he struggled the whole way. That's our mooch.

Turning 30

Akron Ward Christmas Party 2009

I never actually wrote about being 30. Let's just say...by far...my BEST birthday ever. And why wouldn't it be? I've ALWAYS wanted to be 30.

Six months ago I told my mom that the ONLY thing I wanted for my 30th was for her to come in and go shopping with me on Black Frdiay...which happened to be my 30th birthday this year. EVERY year my mom, my sister and I shop through our cell phones. I will never forget a few years ago when I called my sister at Toys' R' us and she said that mom was sitting in the car. Why? Apparently at Target, someone pushed her over and STOLE her cart. I laughed. Oh, what I would have done to be there with them. I cried. I wanted to laugh with them.

A few months ago, my mom called me sobbing. "I couldn't sleep last night." "We can't come out for Thanksgiving. Your dad doesn't feel well and the flights are just too expensive." She started crying again on the phone.

I, of course, told her profusely that it wasn't a big deal. Life goes on. We could shop through cell phones again. It would be just like old times. She hung up the phone and I felt like crying. Not that she wouldn't be here, but how bad she felt about it. I realize now how strong a parents love can be...but I never really think that someone actually feels that way about me.

Life went on. A couple months ago I was checking my email.

Travelocity Flight confirmation for Geoffrey and Lynnete Orme.

"What the heck?" I thought.

I timidly clicked the button.

Tickets to Akron, OH.

Not just any tickets.

A Red Eye flight.

My parents are 60!

What in the world were they thinking?

I was too excited to think normally.

I picked up the phone while looking at the computer screen.

"What the heck are you thinking?"

It was the cheapest flight. We will get there Thanksgiving morning. Just in time to help you make the cranberry salad."

Suffice it to say, it was the Best Birthday ever.

My mom, Kristine and I celebrated midnight in the Toy R us line in the freezing cold clinching on to our drug store hot chocolate. I got Naomi's shopping cart and stroller. I saved $15. Totally worth it!

My mom and I proceeded through the night with an hour of sleep. Stood in lines. Froze. Laughed. I almost cried...once. Maybe twice. Jerky guy at Best Buy.

Life was good. 30 was better, but shopping with my mom was the BEST.

Signs that Grandpa Geoff has been here

I came home from a morning of errands and our front yard was fully mowed, manicured and trimmed

and then I saw the back yard

Papa Geoff defied all odds by sneaking a camera in to William's Tai-Kwon-Do class. I don't even want to know what Master McCray was thinking

He poses with the kids with his new mustache

After two total knee replacements' and a total hip, oh yeah, and surgery to remove his toes, he is found on his hands and knees scrubbing my bathroom floor

here is is teaching his grandkids to break the rules after being told not to take pictures inside the Stan hywett Hall and Gardens. William was a little nervous about getting caught, grandpa made him stay and pose.

After he has left you notice that your whole food storage has been re-organized and tidied up and every single piece of laundry in your house has been washed....TWICE.

We already miss you Papa Geoff (Naomi learned how to say papa two days ago. So now his name is no longer Grandpa, but papa)

HOORAY

I'm 30

Thanksgiving

The Holidays began with cheeseburgers...and will continue until after the first of the year. A stressed out mother finds that during the Holiday rush, Wendy's is her best friend.

Daddy is always a welcome addition to any family celebration...so...without any further adu..

Welcome to the 2009 Thanksgiving celebration in Akron, OH with some of the Orme family.

Ashley and Kristine make great sister-in-laws that drove with their husbands for HOURS to get here! Was Akron worth it? You bettcha. Just take a look.

Gingerbread houses with grandma

Cousin best friends re-united

coloring our very own Thanksgiving placemats

daddy reigning in the badgering babies

oh...and making our very own gingerbread cookies (thanks to Kristine for all the crafts!)

the outnumbered girls sticking together

the cute expecting parents

the boys trying to plan their escape from the "Welcome Santa" parade

Grandma on the front lines of the parade with the four troopers. Apparently, her back was killing her but she couldn't get up until she saw Santa...an hour and a half later

Grandma trying to warm up little bodies

freezing faces waiting impatiently for Santa to come

more freezing faces

at least Ashley is still smiling

oh...and these two again

Joey is going to be such a great dad

playing in the coolest treehouse ever

enjoying children's laughter

fighting toddlers

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours.

Introducing...

Our newest YELLOW belt!

...and our newest nursery member AND ear tubed baby.

At William's 1st grade Thanksgiving party, Naomi nuzzled her way into the group.

William has been driving me crazy...and making me laugh. How do kids do those two things so well together?

I took the kids to Toys'R'Us a couple weeks ago to check out the toys they want for Christmas. Of course, the boys went straight to the lego aisle. After three minutes, Naomi got bored and started meandering to other sections. Jake followed. We quickly found the train table and the two kids started playing excitedly with the trains. William wouldn't leave the lego aisle. He was just around the corner and I kept checking on him intermittently. There he was. Standing between two full aisle of the world's greatest toy creation. A whole beautiful row in front of his eyes, and a second row behind his back. A six year old boy wonderland. I peeked on him once again.

"How are you doing, mister?" I asked.

His eyes didn't leave the plastic pieces of childhood bliss.

"I'm just living the dream."

Indeed you are my young boy.

Again he stood in the lego aisle. He ran out to me with a huge grin on his face. "Mom, mom, I think I am going to accomplish a goal today."

"What's your goal?"

"In my journal at school I made a goal to make a new friend."

"That's great, bug. You can do it."

The timing was impeccable. A short minute later, an uncombed blonde boy with his uncombed father made their way into the lego aisle with my 6 year old. I watched from the side.

My shy baby stared at the other boy as he accessed his goal.

"Do you want to look at legos with me?"

the boy didn't answer.

William didn't give up.

a little louder.

"do you want to look at legos with me?" William asked again.

the dad smiled. He pushed his boy over to William and encouraged him to go.

I heard William explaining the legos that he wanted. The boy was unsure.

A few minutes later the boys mother came and dragged him away.

William grinned at me.

"I can't believe I actually did it! I achieved my goal!"

"You sure did, bugaboo!"

"Jake, Jake, I did a goal! I made a new friend. Oh...it feels so good to make a goal. I feel so good."

Way to go, William!

What a BIG month for a BIG kid.

You Know You Have a SCREAMER when...

Apparently these are really cool shoes. Aunt Lindsey bought them for Scout months ago...and they finally fit. I think everyone deserves a rich aunt.



My heart sunk when Naomi was born and she didn't make a peep for about 30 minutes. She was just a soft-spoken little critter.

...and then we brought her home. ...and then she grew up.

You know you have a SCREAMER when...

1. your child SCREAMS when you don't give them what they want.....or......when you do give them what they want. They just SCREAM.

2. Your child doesn't do tones. Soft, gentle, sweet, angry, mad. It's all lumped together in one big tone. SCREAMING

3. You lie in bed at night and your husband can't understand why you are not making coherent sentences. Does he not understand that I have been SCREAMED at all day. I have been verbally abused for 12 hours. Do you wanna fight?

4. You bring your child with you to teach Sunday School. One of the girls in the classroom covers her ears with her hands. She said the baby was hurting her eardrums. I just kept teaching. Was it really that loud? I have a hard time making that judgement anymore.

5. When you go places someone always says, "oh, it sounds like someone is upset."

No, actually she's not. She's just SCREAMING.

6. On a two and a half hour drive, your sister, who loves your child just short of you and your husband, has to literally pull the car off the freeway and ask someone else to drive. She said she was losing her mind and couldn't take the screaming anymore.

7. On the same car ride, your other sister-in-law asks sweetly, " doesn't she know any better?"

your other sister-in-law turns around to face her and charms the whole car with an extremely animated version of five little monkeys, and your third sister-in-law sits quietly next to the SCREAMING baby and reads a book. She says she has a screamer too. I just prayed that no one would hit her.

8. You have to leave five minutes early to go anywhere. It takes that long to get her in the car seat. After the initial SCREAMING, hitting, thrusting her back with a small to intermediate temper tantrum, I can finally overpower her in a moment of weakness and thread her arms through the harness straps. Then it will take another five minutes for her to stop SCREAMING. All in all, about ten minutes of SCREAMING each time I get in the car.

9. As you drift off to sleep at 9:30 (it's not possible to stay up any later: you need the silence that only sleep can bring)) you wonder how in the world you can possibly listen to the SCREAMING one more day. Funny enough, you are just so grateful for one more day with your little SCREAMER that it just doesn't seem so bad.

10. I have a SCREAMER. Do you have one, too?