Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Desperate Measures


I know all of you have done it. Maybe not as drastic as mine, but nonetheless, we have all done things that if we would have been asked before having children, we would have sworn we would never do anything even comparable. I call these moments of choas and confusion...my desperate measures. Here are just a few.
1. Literally jump over the side of my child's crib rail to sleep with him. Anything to get him to stay in his crib.
2. Drive across the parking lot with a baby in my lap. 200 feet is just not worth the shrieking screams, shrills and stress to strap them back down into their carseat.
3. Not even punish William when he poured a 10 pound bag of rice all over my carpet and up and down the hallway. By the time I found him, I was so tired from scraping the vaseline off of Jake's body and pulling it out of his hair...I didn't have the energy to punish. I turned on a movie and cleaned the mess in peace.
4. Tie my son's door shut with a rope so that he couldn't escape. I was afraid if I saw him one more time, I might do something that I would regret.
5. When at play group, I noticed my son hit another child. I quickly looked over at the parent of the helpless victim. She didn't see it. Neither did I.
6. I couldn't handle my boys beating each other up one more time. I was so tired of constant crying, yelling and applying bandiads, I threw my kids in the car and took them to Chuckee Cheese. Punishment enough.
7. Make my baby sleep in a urine soaked onsie. I was way too tired to change her...and I knew that it would dry soon enough.
8. I decided that I needed to live my life in a way so that I am not allowed to do, say, eat or watch anything that my children are not. Oftentimes I am caught drinking a coke. Jake, naturally asks for some. Keeping my rule, I always give it to him. Lately I have realized that it has gone to far. He asks me, "Is this diet or regular...I hate diet." I might have to change my rule...cause I'm not changing my coke addiction.
9. Let my son out of the house in his Spiderman costume...everyday. You cannot believe the number of comments that I have recieved. Note to self: if I see that there is any inkling that I might give in to a power struggle with my toddler...don't even start the battle. It is better to give him the power freely right from the start, than to have him rip it out from under me...
10. My biggest desparate measure...even if the day could not get any worse, my sanity any less in tact, the house any more messy or my headache more painful, there is still a part of me that when I tuck them into bed each night and whisper "I love you," I truly mean it every time. I would have never thought five years ago that my patience and love could be tested so much...the greatest test I've ever had.

9 comments:

Marsh Mayhem said...

Jessie -- you make me laugh every time I check your blog! You have a way with words ... I have no doubt your darling kids are going to be just as funny as you are! And I love the red shoes photos. Can't wait until my little girl's feet catch up to the rest of her so she can get some!

Katie said...

Hey Jessie! I am glad you finally found my invite. I think that was the third one I sent! I love your desperate measures. We all do things we didn't think we would before we had kids. Your kids are growing up!

Sarah said...

You are so funny, Todd and I just sat here and laughed our heads off! If only I was brave enough to tell all my desperate measures. I do find solace in that fact that I am not the only one to tired to punish my child (I realize I only have one and so am much more pathetic)but sometimes like you I sit her in front of the TV and just have peace.

Julie said...

I love it!!! Boy, I have been there actually this week!

Christine Fotheringham said...

Jess, our personal favorite was desperate measure number 5 with the coke addiction as a close second. Great entry!
Teeny and Nate
P.S. Nate knew you'd be stellar parents the minute we saw that Springsteen poster hung right over Will's crib for his first months of life.

The Cooks said...

Jessie, I found your blog and Mattson couldn't have been more excited, expecially when he saw the boys in there spiderman outfits. I hope that you guys are doing great. Mattson still talks about Jakey and Will and how they are his best friends...it been a few months now, they must have really made an impression. It is so fun to read your blog!

Luzia Aparecida said...

Olá meu amado e inesquecível(Filho,Elder,Irmão e Amigo),você nem imagina o tanto que chorei de alegria quando,recebi sua amável carta,ainda mais feliz,com sua felicidade,sua familia é linda,to me sentindo uma mãe (coruja)sua esposa e filhos são lindos...que honra receber seu documento de FORMATURA, meu Dr.Ford,ser pediatra é maravilhoso,tenho esperança de um dia reencontrá-lo, pois amo muito você e é claro sua linda família,espero receber noticias suas o mais rápido possível, beijos e muitas saudades.

Rob and Karina said...

I love those!! but I think my favorite is #5! that totally made me laugh out loud! It's funny how much we change from our 1st to our 3rd child. You're such a great mom!

Kristine said...

I also got the biggest chuckle out of #5. I think that happened more than once last weekend. Ha, ha. I love you jess. Hang in there. Your boys are so cute, you just gotta love 'em.