Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Alright Guys...We Need to Talk

It is amzing how much work goes into getting these precious heads to hit the sack each and every night. I feel like I have tried everything. So tonight, I got desperate.
The lights were out. Spiderman night lights were the only light source shining in our faces. I sat in the Story chair; the boys in their beds. Poor Naomi was talking herself to sleep in her crib. Poor little neglecterino. I started my plea. "Listen guys. We have got to talk."
Jakey rebuttles, "Mom, can I sit in your lap?"
"No, Jacob. We are having a serious discussion about bedtime."
"Alright, we need to work on bedtime. Let's start with brushing our teeth. When I ask you to go brush your teeth, I need you to go and do it. If you don't, that person will not be able to choose a story that night. You must ONLY brush your teeth. If I find any of you playing in the vaseline, putting lotion all over yourselves or making swimming pools for your sharks in the's automatic tabasco sauce."
Jakey laughs. "I made a ginormous swimming pool for sharkey. It was super cool. Mommy, I like lotion. I need some on my hands."
"Jacob, no swimming pools, no lotion, Got it?
"Sharkey loved my swimming pool. It was ginormous."
"Jacob, seriously, you will get tabasco sauce if I see another swimming pool...espcially if it has tootpaste, lotion or shampoo in it, O.K.?"
"Mom, did you know that Grandpa Geoff caught a snake named Gartie?"
"Jacob, we are talking about bedtime, not grandpa Geoff."
"Gartie is so funny."
"Alright, next. Prayer time. I will do eeney, meeny, miney, mo and whoever I land on will say the prayer that night."
Jake breaks out in screams, and tears.
"Will you land on me, mommy?"
"Sometimes, you and sometimes Will. But there will be NO crying. Everyone will get a turn."
"If you don't land on me, I will cry." Then he starts demonstrating his tearful cry. "Like this, mommy, I will cry."
"Jacob, there will be no crying...and if you do..than you won't get to say the prayer the next night."
"Mommy, I won't cry if you land on me."
At this point I gave up. My mom always tells me that you can't reason with a three-year-old. I was desperate. I guess another desperate measure for me. Oh, well. I came downstairs, got some peanut butter crackers and two glasses of water. I returned to their room, gave them a snack and sent them to bed. After all, that's what Old Mother Hubbard told me to do....and it works all the time.


lynnette orme said...

I loved this one. Old Mother Hubbard is right. Scold them soundly and send them to bed. I quess you showed them? You are a great mom and they are lucky to have you. Love, Mom

Andrea said...

I LOVE reading your blog Jessie. You are such a good writer and oh SO funny! You always have been able to make me laugh. Strangers ask me all the time "Are all 3 kids yours?" duh! Do you have the same caomments with your 3? Love you! Andrea

M & S Eagar said...

Ah...the bedtime saga. I've been attempting desperate measures in this regard as well. Let's trade desperate measures advice.

Julie said...

I had a similar talk with my 3yr old tonight over bedtime!! Whatcha goin to do?