This past weekend I journeyed up to Pittsburgh with a few friends for a "Time Out for Women" conference. We spent the night. We ate incredibly greasy, overpriced food. We laughed. And we cried. But most of all, I couldn't get my family back home out of my mind. I just kept thinking, "I miss my babies, I miss my babies."
I happened to know the final speaker from Utah. But I had never heard her story in its entirety.
She's blind. Her face has physical deformities. She was hilarious. She has a husband and two little boys. I kept looking at her on the big, black stage. She talked. And laughed about her condition and the funny circumstances that greet her each and every day. I kept thinking about her babies back home. Her two little boys. I kept thinking how different her life is from mine.
I thought about her boys receiving the priesthood at age 12. I thought about her in the audience. Looking to the podium but seeing nothing. Not seeing her precious child smile from the stand. Or his missionary farewell. How proud she will be. But not seeing one single facial expression.
I thought of her stroking her babies faces. Gliding her hands through their hair. Feeling the eyes, the noses and the mouth. Holding them and hugging them. Just like me. But seeing nothing.
Wait until this beautiful woman gets to heaven. Her eyesight will be restored. And she will look on her babies with the look of amazement. of wonder. She will still touch thier face, and she will hold them close, but this time, she will also see them. I cried. Thinking of her in Heaven with her babies. I really, really wanted to hold my babies. To be ever more grateful. Ever more loving, ever more affectionate.
I could post a picture of the wonderful friends I went to Pittsburgh with. But I have decided to post the picture that I came home to. That was in fact, the greatest part of my "Time Out." To return home to the people that I was "timed out" from.
I lay in bed that night with each of my children individually. I stroked their hair. I felt their faces. I sang them songs. I loved them. My babies.
2 comments:
Well I'm so glad you got some "time out" for yourself.
But, I totally relate when you say you just yearned to be home. I only need a couple hours once in awhile, but then I feel lost!
You are such a great mom. I think about you lots, Bird! Wish we were in the same city. We'd rock it. Life's unfair like that. BTW...what's the scoop on fellowship? Do tell me...
boyer.
I felt the same way Jessie, its amazing how tired and worn out we feel as mothers and wives, but yet when we are away for a short period of time, all we can think about is our family. I had so much fun and was so glad to have been able to go with all of you, the uplifting and spiritual messages and friends is what I needed..
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