I had to pull over right before the freeway entrance to let my little children use the concrete parking lot for a restroom. Even Nomsi took her shorts all the way off and went potty on the ground just like her brothers. Her urine was all over her and I made a mental note to give her a bath later. For now, just get back in your seats.
We arrived at Costco. Super Sample Saturday. We tried everything. Some things twice. A lady saw me as I steered my cart away from running into hers becasue my three children were hanging off different directions. Why would any of them sit down when they could hang off the sides? She looked at me and said, "God bless you for bringing three children here all by yourself."
I smile. "My husband is never home."
Three seconds later, in the back end of the mega warehouse center, my newly potty trained 2 year old says, "uh-oh, potty."
I quickly pick her up and hold her against my side. With the pressure on me, I knew she could hold it. We grabbed our last few things when I forgot about her potty need. I set her down. We walked toward the check out line...followed by a steady stream of urine and glances from many onlookers. I wouldn't have noticed if no one had been looking at me. Crap. What do I do? I actually just kept walking. A 15 foot stream of urine kept running. A middle aged man walked by and says, "it looks like somebody sprung a leak." I smiled. And kept walking. I was humiliated.
We checked out. We took another potty break.
I bought three hot dogs and a piece of cheese pizza for me. I have a commitment with myself to only have one Coke a day. I sat there at the beverage dispenser toying with the idea of either Coke or Sprite. Forget it, I thought, this is definitely a two Coke day. Maybe three. I watched the flavored sugar liquid fill my cup and savored the taste of the caffeine on my throat.. I loaded the groceries. I loaded the kids. I passed out hot dogs. Jake didn't want his. He wanted pizza.
I told him he wanted a hot dog in the store and the pizza was mine. He would have to go hungry. We sped away. I only got about 100 feet when I pulled off into the Bed bath and Beyond parking lot. He knew his mother was weak. I also knew it.
I jumped out of my seat. Yanked the back door opened and gave Jake half my pizza. he smiled. Then Naomi threw her hot dog on the floor and whined. She wanted the other half. I gave it to her.
I returned to my seat hungry.
We drove home.
I seriously think I might have Strep. My throat and my face feels like it is going to fall off.
so far...
my day has been pretty good.
3 comments:
Bird, you poor thing! What is up with Naomi and the potty training? Should I be working on that!? Oh, and when are you coming home for a visit?
i want to ride in your van from now on, that looks like party central! you are so good to be so patient with your kids. I could totally picture your whole trip, and honestly i would have done the same thing and just kept walking if eleanor had left a stream of pee through the aisles. haha i'm sure it wasn't funny then, but looking back it sure makes a funny story :)
How do you make the most horrible experiences sound so funny? You have such a good sense of humor, that is what makes you such a great Mom! People always tell me "It looks like you have you hands full today!" Usually said multiple times if I take them all to the store at once, which probably means they are misbehaving. Yes, my hands are full, and do you always state the obvious?
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